Thursday, August 2, 2007

a breath

If dreaming is so good for me, why is it so painful?
Why haven't I written anything for so long, it hurts to try?

Who am I? what do I believe? what do I think and feel?

To meet the world with kindness, and generosity of spirit, to love, and be loved, to hope, and sometimes to receive, achieve, and believe.

To face compromise with charity, and decay with grace.

To hold gently the broken peices, to shake the status quo.

To look blind mediochrity in the eye and charge screaming at it until it must choose to either fight or flee.

To feel, to breathe, to hope, to live.

To cry and greive, and to perceive.








Green Day - Jesus Of Suburbia Lyrics


[Part 1: Jesus Of Suburbia]



I'm the son of rage and love
The Jesus of Suburbia
From the bible of "none of the above"
On a steady diet of soda-pop and Ritalin
No one ever died for my sins in hell
As far as I can tell
At least the ones I got away with


But there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a Land of Make Believe
That don't believe in me

Get my television fix
Sitting on my crucifix
The living in my private womb
While the moms and Brads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and Mary-Jane
To keep me insane, doing someone else's cocaine

But there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a Land of Make Believe
That don't believe in me


[Part 2: City Of The Damned]

At the center of the earth
In the parking lot
Of the 7-11 where I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says "Home is where your heart is"
But what a shame
'Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time


City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care

I read the graffiti
In the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures in a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn't say much
But it only confirmed that
The center of the Earth
Is the end of the world
And I could really care less

City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care

[Part 3: I Don't Care]

I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care [x4]

Everyone's so full of shit!
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the Middle East
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of Suburbia

Land of Make Believe
And it don't believe in me
Land of Make Believe
And it don't believe
And I don't care! (woo woo woo)
I don't care (woo woo woo)
I don't care (woo woo woo)
I don't care (woo woo woo)
I don't care!


[Part 4: Dearly Beloved]


Dearly beloved, are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse


[Part 5: Tales of Another Broken home]


To live and not to breathe is to die in tragedy
To run, to run away
To find what to believe
And what I leave behind this hurricane of fucking lies
I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist

So I run, I run away
To the light of masochist
And I leave behind this hurricane of fucking lies
And I walked this line
A million and one fucking times
But not this time!

I don't feel any shame
I won't apologize
When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain
When you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Where have you taken my God?

Once, I believed in something, so gently, so clearly, like a cool breaze in the afternoon of a muggy summer day... like a dreamy stormcloud pouring out giant raindrops on cracked red earth.

Good was good because it was centered on love. Liberty and liberalism weren't a jaded battle, they were trusting expression of kindness.

At 26 my sense of awe and beauty and peace, my faith, is on the rocks. Sarcasm, cynicism, distrust, those things make sense to me now. Be prepared for the worst, be greateful for what accidental or isolated kindness you encounter.

We see society as something someone else has created, and mistakenly believe that to experience quality of life, we have to follow the formula.

I crave simplicity. Efficiency. Ellegance. Imagination, intuition, inspiration. Passion and creativity... artisanship. If life is really just surving, eating, sheltering, reproducing, and expiring... then sanity and sobriety are irrelevant, and I would rather live in a wonderful dream, than a nihilistic realism.

To really live, neither implies conformity or non-conformity, but it demands conscious choice... and Authenticity.

I'm not bitching about things being complex: ethics get complex when one life might be expended to save others... but love provides a path... and when a choice seems strange, love provides a measure by which to understand it. A functional Society is utterly dependant on love, on mutual care and concern, to function... and it can't be legislated. Punishing someone for being unloving is possibly unlikely to produce effective change.

Regardless of structure, heirarchy, belief, or system, we must, first and foremost re-inject love into our society to bring spiritual healing. For those of you addicted to an individual way of knowing or belief system, remember this... while love may not 'save' all people by your definition or belief, giving love will do no harm!

If there's one thing I know I believe about love, and about God, its that there isn't enough charity or kindness in this world to go around... except that we find it, pray for it, feel it, imagine it, conjure it, call it into being from somewhere else... something above, and beyond us, something lower and deeper than us.

Its easy to say, but so hard to do!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

A ship called love...

Gotta love Eric Bibb!!! (Blues/gospel guy)

Three things on my mind...

Green...
Wish I was more green... so hard to be green in someone elses house... so hard to 'work for the man' in a petrochemical world, and feel in anyway green... hard to want to ride a bike to work in winter.

People/Community...
Its three years since I sat in the lounge room of a rental property with Bec Thompson and drank tea from an old jam jar in bright winter sunlight... but its still as clear as yesterday. A difinitive moment... unforgettable. No rush... no frenzy... just a legacy of kindness, honesty, truth, and above all, acceptance. We were all part of eachothers lives back then... living in houses, chosing our lives... not this horrible melbourne suburbia so isolating, so cold, so distant... living with parents, and expectations, self-repressed.

Love in...
Its so easy to forget to soak up peace and beauty and become love. So easy to forget those small insignificant moments of kindness that make life so sweet and bearable... to forget what it means to be scared, alone and far from home, to be handed a warm cup of tea, to be welcomed, embraced... so easy to miss what it mean to give those simple things. When did hugs go out of fashion?


Our way of life is about to change, and its not just scaremongering by crazy green hippies. The only people who will tell you that peak oil is years away either own shares in oil or mining, or are ignorant and in denial. I'm unlikely to be excited about a career in anything to do with non-sustainable living... but sustainable living is so out of reach right now... and I feel like an evil self deluded hippocrite for even thinking I still care.

I promies life is going to be much harder than you think it is... but if your ever worried, hunt down Eric Bibb, and listen to "A ship Called Love"

Monday, May 14, 2007

dock my pay!? is this wharfe or nothing?

Just watched part 2 of "bastard boys" on ABC.

Real fair dinkum Aussie stuff... but real like you haven't seen real before.

Ever wondered what the big picture of your life might look like, if you stepped back far enough to see it?

Ever felt like you are fighting alone and in the dark for a lost cause?

It might be worth thinking about the values that are playing out in who you are and what you stand for. Sometimes God paints life in small brush strokes...

If these men had given up, they would have thought for all time that theirs was a lost cause... but they didn't, and so history tells the story the way it stands now.

How would you have history tell your story?



Sunday, May 13, 2007

Free to be...




I feel unshackled...



things in my life, the chains, no longer hold me

and action taken, that by virtue of its truth, destroys old fear.

without the question being asked, the need revealed,

the action not required, the challenge not met

fear, the chain, would still remain

unchallenged and unmet

in shadow

dark